Climbing The Ladder

When I first climbed the old, handmade, wooden ladder (complete with missing rungs and rusty nails), I did so with a sense of hesitant optimism. I made a video of the experience. I can still hear my voice giving color-commentary about the condition of the wood, the hull and the equipment. It’s like I am trying to sell myself on the idea. Who am I kidding? I’m going to buy the boat. That decision was made before I stepped on the deck. The notion that somehow this decision could be made to seem reasonable or rational seems ridiculous in hindsight. I was a helpless bystander. I was just watching it happen.

Obviously there was work to be done. A rush of logical objections and emotional responses to this purchase went through my head. The conversation went something like this:

Logic:  "The rudder isn’t even there. You have no idea where it is, or how much it will cost to replace."

Emotion:  "No big deal, I mean, I am sure it’s somewhere. All we need to do is just attach it."

Logic: "It’s not that simple and you know it!" 

Emotion:  "It might be. Besides, even if it needs a new rudder, I am sure I can find one somewhere. Relax."

Logic:  "Okay then, what about the engine? Who knows if it works? What if you have to replace the engine?"

Emotion:  "Well I am sure it worked when they last used it, why wouldn’t it work now? You’re just being paranoid."

Logic: "It’s been sitting here for God knows how long, freezing and thawing and rusting. Do you know anything about engines? No. No you don’t. Idiot!"

Emotion:  "Look, I’ll just get a guy to tune it up and get it running. A couple hundred bucks and we’re good to go." 

Logic:  "You’re delusional. What about all the electrical stuff? Batteries and wiring and lights and instruments? Do any of those work? Do you know anything about electricity? You’re going to kill yourself."

Emotion:  "It’s a sailboat! How much electrical stuff do I need? As long as I’ve got wind in the sails and a compass I’ll be fine." 

Logic:  "That may be the stupidest thing I have ever heard. But fine. So what about those sails? Are they even in working order?"

Emotion. "They looked like they were in good shape to me."

Logic: "You didn’t  even take them out of the sail bag you jackass. You just sort of pulled a little corner of the jib out of the bag. What if there are holes in them, or they’re worn out? Can you afford new sails? Probably not since you don’t even know how much that would cost."

Emotion: "There’s plenty of older, used sails around I can find if I need to. I see people looking to sell their old sails all the time. You worry too much."

Logic: *SIGH* 

Emotion: "Yep, this all looks great to me."

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how these stories always start.